Timing is everything in this household, mainly because I hate being late for anything. But there is one umm
task activity basic human function that refuses to follow any scheduling etiquette. Yep you know what I am talking about - 'Dropping the kids off at the pool', 'Bombing the porcelain sea' 'An appointment with Dr John'. What ever you like to call it, like my children, it never comes when its called. No sirree, it follows it's own schedule of impeccable timing, and has a terrible habit of turning up, just as you are about to walk out the door.
I am sure you are familiar with this frustration. You are standing at the door, handbag on the shoulder, keys in hand and kids wrangled, when one of them says - "Mum I just have to go to the toilet".
Eyeing your watch you reply "ones or twos?". You know the answer is inevitably going to be 'twos'.
Five minutes later, you find yourself screaming "Hurry Up we have to go"! But this type of guest has no manners when it comes to time.
I can hear my son singing away as he patiently sits on the throne, waiting for 'the main event' to enter the arena.
I am getting really frustrated now .... "PLEASE do it quickly" I find myself shouting. Like it is really going to make a difference, this particular guest doesn't care if you have beautiful manners and say please and thank you. It shows up when it is good and damn ready.
Every time I find myself shouting at the kids to hurry up during this type of event, I inwardly cringe. I know how frustrating it is yourself when you are in a massive rush and the pressure to perform can leave you with a huge case of stage fright. The stress can bubble up inside you as the kids bang on the bathroom door shouting at you to let them in, and the panic can be enough to scare the little bugger away, just for a minute.....ooops nope back again. And so the game continues.
Why am I writing about something as gross and personal as this. Because I know you can relate.I know you have been sitting there nodding your head as you read my words. This untimely guest is no stranger to your house either.
And besides what else can I do while I am sitting here, waiting for one of my boys to greet his guest so we can get the hell out of here and start this day.