I'll give you a sec to pick yourself up of the floor.
I know right? So now you can understand why I am walking around with a totally goofy look on my face like this....
A whole weekend, no kids, just me and him and lots of yummy food, cocktails, walks on the beach and well lets just say I haven't plucked, primped and preened for nothing yeah?
In typical Murphy's law I realised when I looked at my diary that I had booked our weekend away right when my monthly visitor was due to arrive, but I think some greater power felt sorry for me - the poor woman who has not been alone with her hubby for 11 years, and decided to send my monthly visitor a week early. Thank you heavens - I mean I am not intending on going all Fifty Shades or anything but COME ON, 11 years!
So many friends have told me that their monthly visitor always arrive right when they are due to go on holidays or a big night out! Seriously what's with that? Is it a cruel practical joke from nature? Oh look she's going away on a holiday and thinks its going to be all sunshine and roses - let's totally stuff her up and make her a psycho cranky cow for at least part of the duration!
So why haven't we been away for so long on our own you may ask? Mother's Guilt - need I say more?
Oh I have booked weekends away, but I spend so much time worrying about the kids before I go that I think I manage to somehow manifest my worries into some sort of illness that they get struck down with and then I can't possibly leave my babies whilst they are sick and I end up cancelling the trip.
This week of course Murphy was playing up again and my boys were struck down with tick bite allergies. One of them is even covered in big open sores from the tick bites (sorry to gross you out). But this time I am determined to not let that stop us, and I have been applying the medicated cream to him like fifty times a day and using half a tube each application because clearly slathering that much cream on will make them heal faster right?
The boys are being shared out amongst friends and family and even the dogs have a lovely family coming to stay in our house to babysit them whilst we are gone. So unless it's a (touch wood) major major issue, I really don't need to know about any problems back at home. Let's face it - Firemen are quite capable of removing heads from chairs, stitches don't really hurt as much as everyone thinks and dogs have a great sense of smell so they'll find their way back home again.
But I may or may not phone to check in once in while, you know, just to remind my babies that I love them and all that, in case they have forgotten in the 36 hours I am away from them.
When was the last time you got away and where did you escape to?