I came face to face with the wolf the other day... yes THAT wolf.
And how that meeting went down wasn't exactly the way I had it all planned out in my head.
You see, I often play out scenarios in my head.
We all do don't we?
I'm talking about those conversations we have with ourselves where we role play what we would love to say if we came face to face with a nemesis or someone who had done something wrong by us, or if we had a chance to replay an argument or an incident over and this time we were prepared.
So I was out and about with the family when I first spotted the wolf.
Ironically she was hanging out with a couple of real life goats... no seriously I am not making this shit up.
I saw her as I was walking towards her and then I quickly turned back to my husband who was dawdling behind. "It's her" I declared all wide eyed like I had just seen a ghost.
"It's who?" my husband asked, his body language suggesting he was ready to hear that my grandmother had risen from her grave.
"The wolf, the wolf, the one I told you about who was saying really awful things about me whilst being all nice to my face."
Ok... halt there. That last bit about how I called her a wolf, that was a lie.
I may or may not have bestowed her with the name of another animal... one that chews grass and has udders and wanders around a paddock with flies buzzing around her bum.
So with the hubby eager to see who had upset me so much and me eager to show him, we put on our sunnies (because you are always SO MUCH more confident with sunnies on right?) and we headed in the direction of where the wolf was last seen... except she wasn't there anymore.
She had gone.
"What would you of said to her anyway" my hubby asked me? "Would you of actually said anything?"
"Oh hell yes I would have said something, I mean I have had it all planned out in my head for ages" I said as I patted the goat. "She would not have gone to sleep tonight not knowing what I think of her and her two faced behaviour" I snarled.
Alas the moment had passed and it was a missed opportunity to have my peace... or at least that's what I thought, and so I went and sulked in the chicken pen.
Don't worry, that's not where the story ends.
A little bit later as I cuddled the chooks, I spotted the wolf again wandering around with her own kids, and then again as I inspected some tomato plants with my boys.
It wasn't until we arguing over exactly HOW MANY jalopeno plants one family needs, that I stood up and whoahhhh, shit.... I came face to face with her.
There she was.
The wolf in the sheep's clothing.
The one who had been trash talking me to others whilst being all lovely to my face.
The one who even though I would love to name and shame... I won't because I'm not prepared to stoop that low.
The one who was silly enough to think that the people she said those awful things about me to would never repeat them to me.
The one who despite bagging me still had the nerve to contact me to ask for my help a week or two after I heard about what she had been saying... yep I hadn't told you guys that bit, I was actually saving it for another time and relishing the irony to myself for a while.
There she was right there, and there I was, right there too...
And so at that moment it all flashed through my head, the many ways this could play out.
A: I could tackle her to the floor and wrestle with her in the compost as we pull each others hair and squabble like a couple of roosters in a cage fight. Satisfying, yes! But it would take forever to get the smell of cow poo compost out of my hair.
B: I could start yelling at her about the injustice of it all whilst simultaneously pelting her with beetroot and cabbage seedlings. Fun, but not exactly a mature example for my kids given I had busted one of them for throwing a snooker ball at the other that very morning.
C: I could look at her in silence and allow my lack of acknowledgment despite us being face to face, to speak a louder message than any cage fight annihilation or stoning by vegetable seedlings could do.
And so I chose C.
I stared at her for a few uncomfortable moments and then I turned on my heel and walked away.
BOOM. Take that.
Alright so it wasn't as satisfying as all the other scenarios I had played out in the shower and in the car, but it set a good example to the kids and yeah yeah yada yada.
When one of the boys asked me "Who was that mum?" I said "No one" and I meant it, that wolf in sheep's clothing is no one to me and that my friends is far more satisfying than anything.
This time I took the high road. The high road gets a bit of a bad rap as being boring and all that, but the truth is - you don't tend to run into many wolves on the high road, and that's a good thing right?
Would you have chosen A, B or C?
Do you role play in the shower and the car or anywhere else?