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Thursday, 15 September 2016

A Sure Fire Strategy To Survive The School Holidays

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Brought to you by Nuffnang and Disney

Do you remember a few weeks back when the school holidays were over and I was winding down and celebrating because “yayyyy freedom”? 

Ah ha.

Well then do you also remember the bit where I included the disclaimer around how I also reserved the right to change my mind once the reality of homework and morning chaos and all the crazy school day whackadoodle kicked back in? 

Yeah well I would like to take up that option now thanks very much.

I’m two parts ready for the school term to be over again and one part… no, scrap that part, I’m totally ready.

I had a deep and meaningful debate the other day with a lovely lady standing in line with me at Boost Juice. We bonded over our children’s smoothie indecisiveness and we took turns in shouting at them about how playing dodgeball in a busy shopping centre full of people with unpaid for balls from the Amart bin was probably not the best idea.

Actually I let her do most of the shouty stuff, I was too busy pretending that those feral little humans didn’t belong to me.

Whilst we both agreed that it was most definitely time to remove the kids from the surrounding temptations... like the balls they were pegging, we were not standing on the same side of the fence when it came to school term versus school holidays.

You see, at this stage of the school year, I am team holidays. Hear me out… I blame a lot of the kids pent up energy on them being brain tired from sitting in classes all day and being dragged to after school sports. I long for sleep ins, the end of winter sports training and evenings that don't pose the threat of war over the endless homework battle.

My Boost buddy however proceeded to remind me that school holidays mean days filled with endless arguments between bored kids, mountains of washing from multiple outfit changes per day, late night exhaustion and consequential meltdown courtesy of bedtimes and routines that have been thrown recklessly out the window along with the homework books and… wait, oh damnit, now I’m not sure which side of the fence I’m supposed to be on.

OK, I’ve gathered my senses and I have come to the conclusion that I stand by my vote in favour of the holidays… however, and there is a BIG however here - I think it is essential that you do not even attempt to head into the holidays without your game plan being on point.

I plan on using the new Disney kid’s movie – Pete’s Dragon as my number one carrot in my bag of school holiday survival tricks, but that alone is not going to cut it…

Nope, we are going to need a sure fire strategy if we hope to survive the school holidays without turning into dragons ourselves and you guys, I reckon I may have nailed it with this easy five point strategy to surviving the school holidays.














1. You need to stockpile people!

I’m talking food and LOTS of it because those kids are going to eat you out of house and home. If you are not pre-prepared with a pantry filled with as many snacks as you can possible cram in there (sugar free if you want to avoid some of the guilt and the sugar high) … well then Lord help you mama, because it is highly unlikely anyone else will be able to.

On that note, remember it is important for you to stay hydrated so you can be at your best. I recommend ensuring you have adequate supplies of coping cordial to see you through the holidays.

Yeah, you know what I am talking about.

2. Ok, you are going to need to pack away all of the clothes from their wardrobes and leave them with only three daytime outfits, a jumper and two sets of PJS.

I know, I know, this may seem a little extreme. But, if you do not follow this very important step then it is highly possible your children will decide to change their outfits at least three times per day and the entire contents of their wardrobes will end up on their bedroom floors.

Sure you may have to do a load of washing every second day to keep those allocated sets of clothes clean, but trust me it beats being chained to the laundry for two weeks washing literally every piece of clothing that your children own… because dirty or not, they will end up in the washing pile. Mark my word on that!

3. Alright now…it is crucial that you declare a safe zone. You know, a safe place you can put yourself into time out for a while when you are at risk of losing it? Yep one of them.

I’d like to suggest that the bathroom is the first place you should consider given that in most houses - it is the only room with a lock on the door. Of course there are locks on the front door and the back door too… which now that I think about it….

No stick with the bathroom. The bathroom is good.

Make sure your Wi-Fi router is positioned somewhere that those little beams will reach the bathroom because depending on how long your self imposed time goes, you aren’t going to want to miss anything going on in the outside world.

A pillow, blanket and a bar fridge in the bathroom may be considered as over the top by ‘some’… let it be known I am not part of that ‘some’.

4. Prepare a list of one hundred and one ways to entertain yourself for more than 10 minutes.

Yes I am well aware that’s a bucket load of things for you to think of, but those mighty midgets are going to try to convince you that death by boredom is a legitimate thing.

Fire those suggestions at them hard and fast.

Show no mercy people.

You must be the last man standing in this game and by suggestion number 33 I can pretty much guarantee you that their eyes will have glazed over and they have grown bored with saying they are bored and from there they will either fall asleep on their feet or go outside and chase some dragons.

There you go, put dragon chasing on your list.

You’re welcome.

5. Last but not least, you are going to want to have something really good to bribe them with.

Oh heck yes, we do resort to bribery and corruption.

We are talking survival here people. You need to outwit, outplay and outlast.

I like to have at least one event they are really looking forward to doing in the holidays, like desperately looking forward to, and I pull that sucker out when I need to.

Yeaaaah you know what I am talking about.

My kids absolutely love a family day out and they also love going to the movies. In my opinion, movies are an awesome way to break the boredom cycle and get them out of the house and of course being the opportunist that I am, I plan on using this to my advantage.

According to my little people, Disney’s Pete’s Dragon is like THE must see movie this year.

In case you are not familiar with it yet - it’s the new Disney adventure that centres around an orphaned boy Pete and his best friend Elliot… who just so happens to be a pretty rad looking dragon that has the ability to both fly and disappear.
Sweeeeet!

Let it be known that rad, invisible flying dragons tick a lot of cool boxes!

I have that from two very reliable sources.






Pete’s Dragon is in cinemas now, just in time for the school holidays.

YESSSSS! Cue the victory dance.

I have a feeling it is going to be one of those movies that the kids are going to want to watch again, and again. Well-played Disney… very well played.

Check out the trailer for Pete’s Dragon below and maybe show it to your kids so that you too can use it for your own bribery I mean incentive between now and the holidays.

Survival guide complete.

May the force be with you.



Which Side of the fence are you on? 
Yay or Nay to School Holidays?