I had my first real "OMG it's nearly Christmas" hit this afternoon.
I think I've probably had a few of them already but I suspect I have been squishing those hits like annoying little flies because HELLO... clearly I am in DEnial!
How can it be?
We are two weeks out from Christmas and holy shitballs I have much to do!
Two of our boys have finished school for the year this week.
The man child had his last day of year nine yesterday... YEAR NINE??
Hand me the antifreeze because I can practically feel those wrinkles popping like veins on my skin's surface.
He celebrated by sleeping in until 12.30 today before asking me for a lift to the beach...
Actually I think he sort of mumbled something at me that kind of sounded something like "canIpleasehavealifttothebeachmumitstoohottowalk"... but I couldn't really be sure.
In any case, I hope he has a nice afternoon at the beach because that is where I dropped him.
Flynn had his last day of school today too.
Like LAST last day at his current school.
Yup, after a long week of sleepless nights and pillow discussions, lists of pros and cons and moments of self doubt, we finally made the big decision to pull him out of the school he is at and move him to another.
Our decision wasn't because of any other kids, or families or any particular incident, although that's not to say that the events of this year weren't a part of what led us to the point of making the decision that we did.
But we have made peace with that now and with everyone involved and although I know it is not necessarily a solution that would work for everyone's circumstances, I would encourage you that if you feel that there is even a small chance that you think it may help - consider reaching out to the other family if you find yourself in a situation like we did, and see if you can work together to make it all right.
You may just find that you can save yourself a whole lot of heartache if you do and resolution will come much faster for everyone than it would if left in the hands of people who are not as emotionally invested in it as you are.
But even once a situation is resolved, there can still be a nagging feeling that just won't go away. It's kind of like a niggling sense of disappointment, a deep loss of trust, or you may even find that you are left with a complete lack of faith in an organisation and it's procedures and try as you might you can't get that trust back.
Oh heck, you can try shouting about it.
You can also get really pissed off and demand meetings and explanations and all kinds of solutions...
But sometimes, there is nothing that one can do or say that will make much of a difference to an institution's way of thinking and so, like we have, you might find yourself coming to the conclusion that it is perhaps better to lose the battle in order to win the war.
For us, the war is only ever about protecting those we love most - our children.
As with all of you guys with your kids and families, their happiness and wellbeing is our reason for breathing... right?
And so for the sake of seeing ALL of our boys happy and healthy both physically and mentally, we decided to pull the plug and start our youngest afresh at a new school elsewhere next year.
We have spent nine years at our current school, and two of our kids had a fabulous time there.
Our middle son is finishing up year six there next week anyway and heading off to high school and with that came an opportunity for new beginnings.
We have made life long friendships with other families, there have been teachers who have both inspired and delighted us and we have loads of good memories from that school that we will take with us.
But schools aren't a one size fits all kind of thing, and just because it was once 'the right' place for two of our boys, doesn't necessarily mean it was going to be right for all three of them.
Schools change, people come and go and sometimes the leadership changes too. Sometimes those changes can contribute to a feeling that what was once a place you enjoyed being at, is not really the case anymore... and so you have a choice.
You can huff and puff and stay and as you try to get past it you continue to build resentment, or you can move on.
I reckon life is far too short to resent anything or anyone, and so we shall move on.
As simple as that.
We are moving on.
Flynn is super excited about his new school, "They do SO MUCH SPORT THERE MUM" was the first thing he said/ shouted at/to me after our interviews and "I already know so many people that go there" was another.
Admittedly, he went through a few moments of sheer panic (as did I) because... you know... there are still lots of new people to meet and all that.
Some tears were shed... BIG time...
He shed a few too.
But today he is smiling again and as any mother will agree - Oh boy do us parents LIVE for those smiles!
Have a fabulous weekend you guys.
May EVERY day be filled with the biggest goofiest happiest smiles humanly possible.
Has Christmas hit you in the face yet or are you still in denial?