I love School holidays. Really I do! No I am not insane, nor have I been brainwashed by a commune of free loving hippies who believe schools are jails for our children. Seriously what's not to love about the break from the monotonous school day routine?
Still not convinced?
Well fear not my friends! I do know where you are coming from, because I too used to view school holidays as some kind of parental torture designed to make us be forever grateful and indebted to the patient men and woman who relieve us of our children for 5 hours a day.
I used to face the holidays with dread and trepidation. The mere thought of having to entertain the little munchkins all day for seven days of the week was enough to cause me to break out in a cold sweat and retreat to the safety of a locked bathroom. But after experiencing them for a few years, I gradually became more comfortable with the idea. Then one day something magically transformed within my psyche .........
I discovered Vodka is ALWAYS on special during the school holiday period!!
No I am just joking, but someone should have a word to Mr D Murphy about that idea.
The truth is, faced with another 2 long weeks with the kidlets I decided to write a list about the positives of the holidays. Suddenly the sun came out and a little bird landed on my shoulder and the forest animals all gathered at my feet to sing. Ok that's a little over the top, but miracuously I no longer feared my children and the time alone with them that stretched in front of me under the guise of school holidays.
If you are wondering what could possibly have been on my list to change the mind of a woman who was seriously allergic to the holidays - well for the bargain price of $29.99 I am willing to share the secret with you. Bahaha. Nope in the goodwill of the sisterhood, I am going to share the top 5 positives from my list with you.
1. NO Homework
What's not to love about that. Homework in our house is so far from the picture of domestic bliss I always imagined in the early years of parenting. The reality is it is one step away from being the number one in my Top 5 DISLIKES of parenting. One day I will share that list with you too.
Homework can turn a fantastic afternoon into utter anarchy. My angels turn from sweet loving little boys to snarling, snappy fiends. I myself turn into a nagging desperate woman as I plead with them to PLEASE finish your spelling words and make a start on your maths. In moments of sheer desperation I have been known to concede defeat and resort to using my best scribbly hand writing to finish off their work for them. Not often, but shamefully more times than I can count on one hand.
2. NO Ironing of Uniforms
For a woman who has a serious phobia about irons, the Sunday night chore of ironing the uniforms is almost enough to have me committed. For all our others clothes, I have managed to pretty well build a wardrobe for each of us, that consists of clothes that do not need to go a round with an ironing board to look respectable. Why does somebody not come up with a micro fibre uniform for our kid's school? mmm mental note for the next P&F meeting.
3. NO Lunch Box Arguments
Everyday my children each want something different on their sandwiches. One wants Devon and Sauce, one wants Salmon and Tofutti and the other demands Turkey, Cream Cheese and Quince Paste. What the??? What happened to good old Vegemite? So every night tired and longing for the comfort of my bed and trashy reality TV, I patiently whip up a couple of gourmet sandwich delights. I wont even go into the tears I shed when I find the same said sandwiches, hot, squashed and completely unsalvagable, come home in their lunch boxes from school the next day because they were too busy to finish their lunch. Arghhhhh!
4. NO Bedtime Rush.
Ok I am the first one to admit that I am guilty of allowing my children to stay up well past their bed times in school holidays. But the peace and quiet my hubby and I get to enjoy when we can send them off to bed to watch a movie is ohhhh pure unadulterated bliss! And the bonus reward for letting them stay up later than usual? They sleep in later than usual. Enough said!
5. NO Morning Mayhem
Now truthfully, my hubby is more happy about this one than me, as I am not a morning person. And every male in our house (which is pretty much everyone in our house except for me and a female of the canine variety) knows that EVERY ONE will have a much better day if Mummy is woken gently. So it is my poor hubby who is faced with the task of dragging one cranky tween and an equally cranky 6 year old out of their beds every morning. Our 4 year old is up at sparrows fart anyway so he happily joins in the morning wake up drill, in fact nothing makes him happier than being granted the opportunity to partake in the early morning
torture waking of his brothers.
Once the boys are up - the true chaos begins. Making beds, preparing 3 different breakfasts, brushing teeth, getting dressed, finding shoes, feeding dogs and getting out of the front door in a race against the school bell. Phew I am exhausted just writing it.
These days, I book my time off work well in advance so that we can indulge in the picnics, the hilarious kids movies, the play dates and the good old fashioned fun of just hanging out together having a good time - kid style!