I thought I was so clever and savvy by having a whole week of posts lined up for my blog whilst I was away on holidays, but somewhere somehow, something went very wrong in my programming and I ended up with one very lonely post aptly titled "Cause You're an Asshole" with no actual content. Maybe it was the universes way of telling me I'm the asshole cause in my rush to get away on holidays I completely stuffed up the scheduling thingy, or it could be a tribute to the story behind today's post.
Anyways thank you for your lovely messages and tweets with concern following that post, it was just a bit of a rant at all the assholes of the world and I promise to reschedule it for another time when I am in a crabby mood.
I'll be sharing some of the highlights and hiccups of our trip this week but today I wanted to tell you why I definitely WONT be winning that Mother of the Year Award any time soon.
Whilst we were in Byron, we decided to take a trip up into the hills to the little hippy haven known as Nimbin. The kids decided they wanted to meet some real life hippies and in the car on the way they each insisted on telling us what those hippies would look like.
Flynn (5) "They have big hair and round glasses"
Sam (7) "They wear rainbow clothes and say Yeah man alot"
Kai (10) "They play bongo drums and don't wear any shoes"
Hmmm stereotype much kids???
To be fair though, they weren't far off the mark. There were plenty of Big deadlocked haired colorfully clothed bare footed characters for them to ogle, but instead of saying "Yeah Man" we had them saying "Weed, Cookies"???
Sammy grabbed at my hand after we were approached by one guy offering us cookies and said "Mum I like cookies can I try a Hippy Cookie"?
Ummm no Sam, you won't like their cookies"."Why not"?
Ok think on the spot mum...
"Cause um they have walnuts in them and you don't like walnuts"."Ohhh yeah I don't like walnuts!"
Phew crisis diverted.
Whilst the kids were devouring ice creams I went in one of the big colourful shops called Hemp Embassey where I was approached by a woman called Delight who told me straight out off the Cuff I was a Witch! A Witch??? I have often entertained the idea of a career change, but a witch wasn't really high on the list of must dos.
Yup apparently I am an ancient Celtic Healing Witch who has been steered off course this lifetime by a non believing husband. Okiliy Dokey!
Sammy unbeknownst to me had come into the shop and was marveling at the treasures. He picked up a little Genie Lantern and begged me with his big pleading eyes to buy it for him. How could I refuse a little guy a magic lantern. So I purchased it and felt all full of Good Mummy Karma.
Delight, the lady who owned the shop could not stop oohing and ahhing over Sam and his precious purchase and so a Kodak moment occurred.
Later when we were in the beer garden of the pub having a drink I proudly showed my hubby and friends the Magic Genie Lantern I had purchased Sammy.
My husband totally cracked up and spluttered out the words "Congratulations hun, you have just bought your son his first Hash Pipe".
Shit! Shit Shit Shit! How did I not know this??
On the way back to the car, Sammy proudly told his brothers he was going to take his magic Genie Lantern to school for show and tell.
We have yet to come up with a reason why he absolutely CANNOT take his special treasure to his conservative little catholic school for news. But I figure I'm a witch, I'll come up with something to get us out of this one.
Are you a witch too or have we met in a past life?
Got any advice on how I'm gonna get us out of this show and tell pickle, just in case you know my magic spells don't work?