OK so it's time to report in on how the 'Lose my Ass in 6 weeks' campaign has been going and I am thrilled to tell you I have survived the first week. Even better, everyone close to me has also survived - which is quite a feat considering I have been a devil loose on earth this week.
Picture this .... a woman who has been separated from her great love (no Carl and I are fine, I'm referring to my evening vodka), her head is throbbing with headaches from the sugar and carb withdrawals and throw into the mix some MAJOR PMS.Can you see the horns and glowing red eyes? Yeah? Well then you are getting close. I was evil this week, truly evil.
When you are on The Sure Slim diet, your daily menu / food intake chart is devised once your blood tests have been analysed The food you are allowed to eat has been especially chosen to what your body needs, what it will use most effectively and what it will metabolize quickly. Apparently my blood says it doesn't need any form of pasta and rice, ice cream, potatoes or sugar.
Yay blood - thanks for being so freaking kind to me.
Now if I'm on honest, this week has been hard. Damn hard. I have craved pasta and Weis Bars and warm crumpets covered with honey. I have watched My Kitchen Rules with saliva dribbling down my chin and the absence of my daily 'after work Vodka, Lime and Soda' was tough, really tough. It's funny really as although one evening drink doesn't make me a big drinker by normal standards, it has been hard to give it up. I think it is because it has become a habit and that is the toughest part so far, giving up habits that has been so well entrenched into my daily routine.
The good news in case you are thinking this is all sounding very doom and gloom is that by day 6 the cloud of headaches started to lift, the excessive farting eases up, the heartburn disappears and the cravings become less intense.
Don't get me wrong, I could be very easily convinced to hijack a bread delivery truck or an ice cream van but, the urge is not as strong as it was back on Day 1.
Every day I must drink 2 litres of water. I have never been a good water drinker and I would try to convince myself that 3 cups of coffee in the morning totally counted as part of my daily water requirements. Lemonade icy poles have water in them and the soda water in my evening tipple could most definitely be included as a glass of water right?
Sadly I was delusional.
I have been forcing the 2 litres of water down each day and I have to agree with what millions of people would be saying I told you so about ... Water makes you feel good.
The bags under my eyes have visibly shrunk, my eyes are brighter and I don't know if I am imagining it or not, but the lines on my face (aka wrinkles) don't actually seem as deep as they usually are.
Tomorrow the exercise begins, we had a hall pass from physical activity this week as the lovely people at Sure Slim understand that the first week leaves you feeling drained and emotional and lacking in the energy stakes.
This week though, no excuses. I have to haul my ass of the couch and get moving for at least 30 - 50 minutes a day. I am going to have to be creative and find some form of exercise that I can fit into our crazy pile of hours that we call a day, AND it is going to have to be something that keep me motivated.
I'm thinking something like hiding my credit card somewhere in the middle of IKEA and giving me a time limit of 5 minutes to find it would be a great idea. IKEA is a big place and my love of shopping is a fabulous motivator and reward.
I am not supposed to weigh in until tomorrow morning but I snuck in a quick weigh in for you so I could at least tell you if the week has been successful or not and holy Moses I have lost 1.4kg.
I carefully scrutinized my ass in the mirror to see if I could see a difference, but truthfully I can't yet notice anything, so I am wondering if the weightloss is from my spleen and my liver.
What do you think, do my vital organs look smaller??