August 2013Life Love and Hiccups: August 2013
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Friday, 30 August 2013

Signup For My Monthly Newsletter ... Pretty Please

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So I've gone and gotten all fancy and created a monthly newsletter but the thing is - my newsletter subscribers list is empty so pretty much unless I get some people on my subscription list, I'm gonna basically be sending a newsletter to just my Mum. (You have subscribed haven't you Mum?)


So do you fancy signing up to receive it?

Pretty please .... It's as easy as putting your email in the box below and hitting subscribe! Or there may also be a subscribe button in my blog sidebar, and on Facebook and I may even be forced to stand out on the street and beg for people to sign up.

Come on.... save me from any further humiliation that what I have already managed to bring upon myself lately.



Yeah and Butter Wouldn't Melt Right?

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Ahhh my boys, love them to bits... which is a good thing because I have that to fall back on when there are days that they behave like little turds.

Yesterday I had to pay a little visit to the Dr. In light of what has been going on lately with me, we decided a grease and oil change was in order and since the only appointment I could get was after school, I had no choice but to take the three squids with me.

"They'll be right" I said

"They'll just sit quietly in the waiting room" I convinced myself

"What kind of trouble could they really get up to in a Dr's office" I asked myself.

Was I freaking kidding?

Minutes into the appointment, I was deep in convo with the Dr and he was suggesting it was time for a colonoscopy (don't worry, just part of the warranty service), when child number 2 opens the door and just walks on in.

Without a word he starts scrounging around my handbag, locates my iphone and walks out with it.

Moments later, child number 3 walks on in, starts rummaging through my bag, discovers the phone has already been taken, lets out a shriek and walks out.

Literally LESS than 2 minutes later Child number 2 walks back in again at which point our gorgeous Dr who we have known forever says to him "Mate, you cant just walk in and out as you please - you have to knock".

My son nods his head, tells me his brother sucks and walks out.

The Dr shakes his head, laughs and continues our consultation.

So then I am lying on the bench having a breast exam, there is a knock on the window behind me. We both turn around and there is child number 3 trying to peer in through the tinted glass. He spots us and starts waving madly and dancing.

I furiously wave him away, apologise and we continue with the examination.

A few minutes later we hear a commotion outside the door and then a ladies voice shooing someone away.
I did not even want to know at that point so I chose to ignore and kept on talking to the now bewildered Doc like that didn't just happen.

Finally as we are finishing up, there is a knock at the door.

The Dr looks at me for direction and I nod and say "if he is knocking it must be important", we let child number 3 in who proceeds to rant at full speed about how one of his brothers wont stop staring at him.

Holy Shit!!! And with that I cracked it!

I grabbed everything, referrals, scripts and a half eaten hash brown (WTF?) that had fallen out when they were pillaging me for my phone, shoved it into my bag, thanked the Dr and stormed out.

Outside of the Dr's room I was accosted by 3 kids, all in various stages of meltdown who when they spied the colour of my face and the venom frothing from my mouth, suddenly felt the need to deflect blame onto each other as loudly as humanly possible.

I made my way to the receptionist's desk where the nice lady who usually is keen for a chat, pretty much just threw the bill at me and gazed longingly at the door.

As my oldest son walked beside me repeatedly saying "I was a good boy Mum, It wasn't me", I could tell by the multiple sets of eyes boaring into me from the other patients waiting that clearly my other 2 children had shown them exactly WHY I will never get the award for raising the most well behaved kids.

That Dr appointment sucked, the humiliation of it all pretty much sucked and quite frankly yesterday my kids sucked.

As I said, lucky I love them or there would have been a couple of kids up for sale on Ebay today..... going REALLY cheap!

Do your kids do this to you too?
WHY do they pick the most inconvenient times to be proper little turds?

Thursday, 29 August 2013

SIMPLE DIY Wall Art

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Helloooo, Martha Mudguts is in the house today and she is bringing you some quick slap it together, bang it up on the wall kind of art.

No seriously, this is literally a 10 minute project .. if that!

Our meals room off our kitchen is in need of some updating.

I'm thinking of changing the colour, but I cannot for the life of me make a choice on what colour to slap on that wall. Add to that the fact that I can't really afford to spend money on paint this month as I may have *ahem* overspent on a few shopping trips, and well slap me silly and call me Billy, we have a dilemma.

And so I figured that maybe just updating the artwork will tide me over until next month .... or the month after ... or until I finally make a choice on the colour - whatever comes first.

The artwork I had on the wall was a couple of paintings that I did a few years ago. Some would call them contemporary abstract. I would call them, shove some paint on a piece of cardboard and scrape it down some canvases.

What ever you want to call it, I'm bored with it.

When I was at IKEA a few weeks ago, I scored some awesome fabric table cloths for $2.99. No bull!

$2.99 and they are huge!



I chucked a few of these babies into my basket and I totally plan on making some cushions and Lord knows what else.

Ok, so enough of my rambling - what the hell did I do with this bargain fabric is what you really want to know isn't it?

I grabbed some supplies in the form of spray adhesive and a staple gun, put them on the bench, photographed the crap out of them for your sake and then got to work making some new art.

Cut the material to size so you have a good overlap to staple to the back. Spray the face of your canvas with adhesive and lay the canvas onto the material.

Fold the corners up like you are wrapping a present and staple away.

That's it.

No really - that is it.

Then you grab a rolling pin because your husband has hidden his hammer from you, whack some hooks into the wall, pray they are straight and hang that baby up.



  10 minutes..... No more than that, I promise!



So what do you think? Any suggestions for a new wall colour?


Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Yet Another One of Those KILL ME NOW Moments!

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There's not much to say about yesterday's incident except "LosersSayWhat?"

What?

Yep I'm a Loser.

I am a loser because yesterday I walked through my local shopping centre lined up at the post office AND at Medicare, brought myself a coffee, browsed a fave home wares shop and then meandered back to my car for school pick up.

It wasn't until I got home, and plonked down in my office with a fresh coffee to check my emails when I noticed this.


Why yes that would be yesterday's undies sticking out the leg of my jeans.

Ummmm LosersSayWhat????

Clearly things are back to normal around here.

Please tell me this has happened to you?
If not, please make me feel slightly less moronic and tell me about something humiliating you have done recently.

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

So It Turns Out That I'm a Project Junkie

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So it turns out that I am a Project Junkie.

Yup according to a very well informed friend, if you have more than 3 projects on the go at any given time, you are officially deemed a Project junkie.



Holy shitballs - I counted at least 11 I have in various stages of progress as we speak, so that pretty much means I should have instant entry to any Project Rehabilitation Centre of my choice.

Pinterest has a lot to answer for. All these incredible ideas just floating around the interwebs begging BEGGING for a junkie like me to notice them.

Most nights I sit down for a little Pinterest fix and I come across so many incredible ideas and the inner Martha Mudguts in me gets all hot and panty and starts pinning like her life depends on it.

And then the whole process kinda goes a little like this...

Martha Mudguts goes to bed high as a kite from her Pinterest frenzy. Instead of sleeping she lies there and thinks of ways she can recreate things she has seen or apply the concept to something that she would love in her own home. She finally goes to sleep with zillions of  ideas floating around her head and when she wakes up, she gets online and orders supplies. A Day or so later, the poor exhausted postie knocks on her door with a box full of supplies which she gratefully accepts, opens and starts fiddling around with, until she ducks onto Pinterest for a sneaky 5 minutes whilst she drinks her cuppa, starts pinning like a madwoman all over again, new ideas, new things she is busting to try and .....

Oh Crap! There go the squirrels again.......... and yet another project hits the To Do Later pile.

Is it a problem?

Am I beyond help?

Quite possibly, I don't know, most likely....

Yes.

But at least I'll never be bored as there is always something to start, do or finish.

Are you a Project Junkie with loads of things on the go at any given time?
Or are you methodical, restrained and committed and finish one before you start the next?
What projects have you got on the go at the moment?






Monday, 26 August 2013

A New Dawn, A New Day

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Today feels like my life has just begun all over again. 

I am walking as light as a feather and with a heart bursting with joy – my Cervical Cancer biopsy results came back and man oh man have I dodged a bullet.

I know I didn’t give a full picture when I spoke of this last week, so let’s go back a few steps shall we.

Last year I had a Pap Smear come back with a CIN 3 result (pre-cancer, but not yet cancer). As I waited for the results of last year's biopsy I put myself through hell wondering what the outcome would be. 

They cut away some of the cervix and when the results came back as pre-cancerous I was told to come back in 5- 6 months for another check up. To say I was over the moon then would be a gross understatement, but when the relief wore off, I am ashamed to say I became almost complacent and just put the whole experience to the back of my mind.

I ended up cancelling my 6 month check up, because one of my kids was sick that day and as I didn’t have my diary on me, I promised to ring back and rebook… only I didn’t. 

Instead I clear forgot all about it in the excitement of quitting my job, turning 40 and going overseas.

Stupid.... beyond stupid. Yep I know!

A couple of weeks ago My husband and I were watching Domestic Blitz and they were doing a home transformation for two beautiful sisters who have been battling cervical cancer. Carl and I looked at each other and were both thinking the same thing “Shit! I never went back for my check up”.

First thing that Monday morning I made an appointment and I was lucky enough to secure one for the Friday of the same week. I didn’t take my husband Carl with me, as I thought it would just be a quick pap smear and I would be on my way.

As you know it didn’t quite turn out that way.

What the Dr found when he was foraging around in my hooha was that there were considerable changes in the 12 months since I last saw him and well to put it bluntly he was concerned that the changes were cancerous. 

Biopsies were immediately done, and I even asked if he had left anything behind as he was taking bits out of here there and everywhere.

As you can imagine all of this was like someone just sucker punched me in the guts and I was literally gobsmacked and frightened beyond words. 

We discussed what it would mean if the results came back positive. Hysterectomy, radiation, chemo etc etc. He drew diagrams for me, showed me pictures and threw around words around like glandular and secondary.

I had no idea what most of those words meant in this situation and I was finding it almost impossible to make sense of anything he was saying as blood was rushing from my head and my heart was threatening to blow out my ear drums.

And do I did what you should NEVER EVER do. I came home and Googled it all and basically gave myself a good old fashioned coronary.

Only days earlier I had written a post for Real Insurance on Life insurance, (yeah ironic right) and I began to question if that was the universe trying to tell me something. In fact all around me I started to see signs in things, signs I didn’t want to see. 

My cervix may have been stuffed but my imagination was taking up the slack.

These past 11 days have been absolute hell and probably the worst 271.2 hours or 16,272 minutes of my life to date - yes I was counting. Every waking moment was consumed with the what ifs and I felt as though I could not find joy in anything whilst this was hanging over my head.

This morning I got the news I have been praying for. 

I don’t have cancer. 

I have precancerous cells & lesions, but they are not cancer.

Most likely we will explore the option of a hysterectomy to remove them once and for all. But for now I feel as though I have dodged one hellava bullet and the angels were looking out for me.

I could not have gotten through this past week with out the support of my husband, my family and my friends who exhausted themselves distracting me in every way possible. And I could not have done it without the love, prayers and positivity that was so generously shown to me by you guys, this community … our online community..... my village.

Many of you wrote to me and told me of your own stories, of your own anxious waiting games and I want you to know that we are all thinking of you and praying for positive outcome for you too.


Please remember the beautiful words that one of my readers Pria sent me "whilst there is hope there is a certain kind of magic that can happen and that particular kind of magic is what make miracles happen. Hang on to that hope, it is more powerful than you could ever imagine"


I am here to tell you that Pria was soooo right - hope and magic do work brilliantly together and I have learnt once again that you should never ever lose hope.

When I was driving in my car this morning, just before I had received my good news, that Nina Simone song "It's a new dawn, it's a new day" (Feeling Good) was playing. 

Holy Shitballs - if that wasn't a sign, I don't know what is.

Please please please, if you are due or overdue for a Pap Smear - BOOK IT NOW! 
And if a Dr ever tells you to go back for a check up, don't be a moron like me.... go back when you are supposed to.

Saturday, 24 August 2013

FORD Choose Your Own Adventure Challenge - Comfort

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THIS car is the fabulous Ford Territory Titanium and I am lucky enough to be road testing it as part of the Kidspot and Ford's Voices of 2013 Choose your own Adventures challenge.

This is my second post in the 3 post challenge and the theme word for this post is Comfort. 

You can check out my my first post here.

Comfort is a simple thing yet so complex by nature. It is both physical, psychological and spiritual.

It is a feeling, a sense of peace, a state of mind.

A dictionary can try to define the meaning, but the true meaning is an individual thing, as individual as you are or as I am and we all find comfort in different ways.

To me comfort is;


The security that comes with knowing that I have choices and the power to make the best possible choices for my family, for me and for us.





Comfort comes when I believe in myself and have confidence in who I am and where I want to go in this life of mine.





The ability to nurture is a gift in itself and the feeling of being nurtured and knowing that there is someone who cares ... well if that doesn't bring comfort, I don't know what will.






Comfort is the freedom to go where my heart tells me to go, to be who I am destined to be and the freedom to change directions when I need to.








Comfort is peace of mind in knowing that my people, those whom I love most, are safe, happy, and protected.






Comfort is a sense of belonging. Of knowing that somewhere exists a special place for everything and everyone and that feeling you get when you know you have found your place, the place where you belong.










Where do you find your comfort?

Friday, 23 August 2013

Hand Painted Pillow Cases - You CAN Make Your Own!

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I've been letting my inner Martha Mudguts go crazy this past week.

If she has wanted to craft it, I've been all "Hell Yeah, let's go for it" and she has been all "Wooohoo, let's go nuts!".

Yes I am talking about myself in the third person and I have no idea why. Perhaps the paint fumes have gone to my head.

So anyways, what say we knock this out before I totally lose the plot.

I've been making my own hand painted pillowcases and can I tell you - this is sooooo much fun. If you are really game this would be something you could totally do with the kids too. I'm gonna have to pull up my big girl panties and suck it up, because my kids have spied these and I have promised they can have a go over the weekend.

What can I say .... they got me in a moment of weakness.

I haven't tried this before because I always thought it would be hard and fiddly, but I stand corrected. It couldn't be easier.

You can turn pretty much an acrylic paint into fabric paint by mixing it with some textile medium (mix 2 parts paint with 1 part textile medium).

I used Jo Sonja's textile medium which I got from Spotlight and just some old tubes of acrylic paint I had in the craft cupboard.

Gather your supplies together. You will need acrylic paint in the colour of your choice, a textile medium, some different size brushes depending on your design and a bowl to mix your paint in.

When it comes to choosing your pillowcases, it is better to go with a higher thread count (min 250) as you will get a better result and less bleeding of colour.

Draw up your design either by hand or on your computer and print it out to the size you want.

Slip it into your pillowcase in the position you want it and trace with a 2B pencil.



Before you start painting, place a protective mat inside your pillowcase to stop the paint soaking through to the other side.

Now pretty much just start painting.

Don't worry about making it too perfect as the more relaxed your hand is as you paint, the better the end result you will achieve.

Once your pillowcases are dry, you will need to iron them with a hot iron to set the paint and make it washable. Don't try and iron straight onto your painted design - cover it with a tea towel to protect it.

Give your pillowcases a wash on a cold wash and basically that is it. 

You can make these for yourself, but they also make a really cute and cheap gift for someone special. 

Obviously the hearts are for the hubby and I and the Bonsoir pillowcase is for one of my boys. I'm working on a few other designs for my other son's and I'll share those with you on instagram once they are finished.


So what do you think? Are you keen to give this one a go?